


morning coffee

by p0psicletart



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Domestic Fluff, Gen, No Incest, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and he gets one! yay, it’s just some domestic but emo crap, love that for him, the slightest hint of plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p0psicletart/pseuds/p0psicletart
Summary: five wakes up in this new version of 2019 and still finds that he has nothing to do. which he has mixed feelings about.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone
Comments: 20
Kudos: 212





	1. in which five does nothing (for once)

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is my first fic 😳 i wrote this at my part time job bored out of my mind. and spoiler alert.. nothing happens over the course of these 1000 words lol. if people like it i could probably make a part two, hence the 1/? thing.also sorry for the all lowercase but i’m not turning on auto capitalization for a fan fiction.

five squinted his eyes against the sunlight. there was a harsh pounding in his head and it made him want to go back to sleep. but you don’t stop two apocalypses with that attitude, so without even registering it he was on his feet and shuffling into his uniform.

he detested the uniform, but anything else didn’t feel appropriate. being back in this teenage body, being back in the academy, and now having his good old father lurking around the corners barking orders at his sparrow academy, not wearing it felt like a crime.

not to mention five didn’t have any money, and didn’t know how to go shopping. 

but he has bigger fish to fry, and he shoved his feet into his shoes with a frustrated grunt.

rather generously, reginald had let them stay in the mansion. he’d said they’d owe him a favor if they did however, and that if they didn’t get their asses to work to pay rent he’d evict them.

five knew it wasn’t an empty threat, and vanya and allison had found some part time jobs. he didn’t know what the others got up to, but it wasn’t hard to guess.

klaus didn’t try to hide the smell of cigarette smoke and whiskey, but due to some miracle he didn’t smell like weed. so it was a bit of progress. luther, in honor of his daddy issues, trained. five saw him trying to engage with the members of the sparrow academy, asking them if he could be of assistance.

more often than not, the sparrow academy indulged him and whisked him away to assist them on one of their missions. 

diego scowled, very often, and stared off into space. but at night his bed was empty. and when he decided to show up he was injured and had an air of richousness to him. so it wasn’t hard to conclude that he’d gone back to being a knock off batman. 

and for five, well, he didn’t really have anything going for him.

on one hand, it was a relief to not have to lead anymore, those two weeks of trying to save the world have deterred him from ever volunteering to be a savior again. who knew trauma made people extremely opposed to banding together to stop doomsday. 

but, as he sits alone on the couch in the grand hall, where he had first caught his siblings up to everything right after quitting the commission, he can’t help but feel empty. 

there’s nothing to do. nothing left for him. all his responsibilities for now consist of remembering to apply salve to his bruises and cuts so that the pain recedes. his headache throbs more as he broods about it, so he picks himself up and goes to the kitchen.

he waves to grace and asks for coffee, grace points to the pitcher of coffee she already prepared for him and five can’t help but smile when he thanks her. logically, he knows he should probably stop drinking so much coffee. but as his headache recedes after his fourth cup of watery, cheap coffee, he doesn’t care if the caffeine kills him.

he excuses himself right as he sees vanya and allison get to the kitchen. they’re both very immersed in conversation, and five would hate to interrupt it. 

they’re dressed in matching uniforms. five is relatively sure they volunteer at nearby orphanages on their days off, hence the bright and childish shirts along with their excited demeanor. they both use this outlet to cope with leaving clair and harlan behind. and he’s glad they’ve found coping mechanisms.

they seem to be faring better than the rest of his siblings, at least. 

as he wanders around the hargreeves estate, he wonders if he should go pay dolores a visit. five wonders what she’d have to say about his last week. he studies one of the portraits of the sparrow academy members as he calculates the odds of dolores even existing in this timeline. 

“hey, you checking out the portraits, old man?” he hears someone say, and immediately after he feels a hand on his shoulder. he glances up, and sure enough, he sees klaus’ face peering at the portrait.

he tsks and turns back to five. “they’re too old for you, man. jeez, dating must be very hard for you while looking like a kid. the only people interested are creepy pedos!” 

klaus pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it. five hopes his glare makes klaus feel a little ashamed. he didn’t save his siblings from impending doom just for one of them to die of lung cancer anyway. 

when klaus ignores it, he turns back to the portrait, aggravated. “dad will probably quick you out for smoking, he hates the smell.”

“let him try,” klaus drawls. “he can’t kill me in any way that matters, i doubt i can even die.”

before five gets to ask him about that, klaus hands him a cigarette. he gladly takes it and klaus grins as he hands him the lighter. klaus continues to chatter on after five returns the lighter, but five tunes him out.

soon enough, klaus says goodbye and that he hopes five doesn’t die from thinking too hard, and five is left alone again. 

as much as he’d never admit it, he’d rather have klaus, or any of his siblings, talk his ear off than have to wander the halls alone. with a grumble, he resumes his patrols. 

he unconsciously wanders to the guest room that luther is staying at, and is mildly surprised to find him doing push ups this early. he watches as his bulky arms slightly shake as they bend into the perfect 90 degrees, quietly rather impressed at how good his form is. 

right when five was going to take his leave, he hears luther’s voice call to him. 

“good morning... you gonna keep staring?” he teases, his voice significantly more breathy and strained. 

“was just about to take my leave actually,” five replies.

he hears a breathy shudder, and five assumes it’s laughter and not luther about to pass out. “how many more near-death encounters..and.. averted crisis is it gonna take for you to stop being.. so stand off-ish?”

five smiles down at his brother. “hopefully i don’t have to go through enough apocalypses to find out.”

with that, he teleports away to the roof. blinking to his favorite spot to sit at. he’s a bit annoyed to find a gang of pigeons pooping next to it. he swats them away, cursing. he crouches down and waits for the mailman to deliver this sunday’s newspaper. if mr reginald has noticed his newspapers have gone missing since five and his siblings have arrived, he doesn’t mention it. 

he takes his seat and let’s his legs dangle over the edge. 

hopefully i don’t have to go through enough apocalypses to find out, huh?

he stares at the usps truck pulling up to deliver the mail as he spirals into thinking about the possibility of the next apocalypse. he can’t help the childish voice in him that does wish to have something meaningful to do, to save everyone again, to feel a rush of adrenaline again. 

he’s not used to being a sitting duck. it’s the third day in the row he hasn’t left the mansion, and five feels like he’s going to explode. 

now that he’s not in the frankly traumatic and terrifying experience, he’s idolizing it. he’s truly becoming senile. maybe lila will come back, and try to kill them again, and it will be up to five to save them again. 

but just thinking about it puts an unwanted weight in fives shoulders, and he snaps out of this new hero-complex.

his eyes go back into focus as he notices the usps truck drive off. he teleports to the mailbox and grabs the newspaper, ignoring the looks he gets from the pedestrians. he teleports back to his perch and cracks his neck as he sits back down. 

maybe he should pick up training too. he doubts he’d be able to take down anyone with his rusty technique. the drastic change from teleporting at least once every couple minutes to his now occasional usage of his powers, has made the times he does teleport very uncomfortable.

stewing in his paranoia that he’s losing his touch, he skims the headlines. he doesn’t bother with the politics, but fully reads through any of the science articles. he tears out all the coupons and shoves them in his pockets. 

he’s sure allison would appreciate the back to school coupons, she could get some crayons or something for the kids at the orphanage. five is sure vanya would also like those but also finds an advertisement for an orchestra performance downtown that he’s certain she’d like as well. he doesn’t find anything quite as personal for his brothers but the coupon for the new pizza place opening up should do the trick.

for himself, he finds a coupon that is advertising a sale for a department store closing down. maybe they sell clothes his size there, and maybe he could stop by and pick some more comfortable shoes. he hopes they have some pants, he’s getting sick of the schoolboy shorts. 

he continues reading the newspaper, and was absorbed in a article about quantum physics when he hears the unmistakable laughter that could only belong to his brothers ring out from downstairs.

he looks up from the newspaper and simply takes in the laughter. he lowers the newspaper and looks over the city. he chuckles quietly to himself, and decides to maybe ask one of his siblings to take him shopping later.

he simply allows himself to bask in the sunlight, and he relaxes his posture. five takes the moment to appreciate that he’s succeeded in keeping himself and his family alive.


	2. in which five over analyzes things (like usual)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> five can’t bring himself to ask any of his siblings to take him shopping and he Angsts about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m gonna have to add another chapter where five actually goes shopping for clothes because i couldn’t get five’s character to cooperate and ended up just writing fluff.

the first problem with five’s idealistic ‘let’s go shopping with my siblings’ was that he didn’t feel comfortable outright walking up to them and asking them to take him shopping.

jeez that phrasing actually makes him sound like a thirteen year old. maybe he should try the phrase, “do you want to go shopping with me?” or maybe he could use “let’s get out of the house today, i know a place.”

but whenever one of his siblings was around, the question seemed to get stuck in his throat. he’s aken to screaming into a pillow before attempting to ask them to calm his nerves, and he usually screams into the same pillow afterwards, when he fails to ask the question once again.

should he call a family meeting? 

no. that will be his last resort. 

he knows that allison and vanya would be the most indulging, logically. but they both have part time jobs and the days that they are off, they seem inseparable.

he doesn’t want to know how many minutes he’s spent staring at them, waiting for a lull moment in conversation so that he could teleport into their group. but so far, his nerves have won every single time and they end up walking off before he can spring from his hiding spot and ask them. 

after his scheduled pillow screaming session after every failed attempt. his screaming sessions never make him feel any better, though. five normally spews in worries and doubts about his place in his family afterwards.

he used to be really close to vanya when they were kids. but now vanya is closer to allison, and five has never been that close to allison, making it much harder for him to spend time with vanya.

the jealously he feels when he sees them whisper in each other’s ears astounds him. he knows he’s being childish, but growing up in an apocalypse means that he never developed the best social skills. 

or at least five chooses to just blame it on just that, not really looking forward to ever taking a deep dive into his mind and fully analyzing his psyche. five knows the answer to the root cause will be some sort of trauma, but he’s not keen to know exactly how all his different traumas have merged together to make him a douchebag.

he never had to fight for dolores’ attention, but here in the real world, without her, he feels like he has no friends at all. 

‘he’s above this high school level drama.bottom line: his siblings love him, he loves them, he’s being ridiculous.’ five repeats at his reflection in a mirror whenever he has the chance. it’s cheaper than therapy and less embarrassing than telling his siblings how he feels.

however, even in the occurrence that he and his siblings are hanging out together in the living room, he can’t help but feel like an.. outsider. he feels like a student who has transferred to a class of students who have all known each other their entire lives. 

whenever one of them is making a joke referencing something that happened before five appeared two weeks ago, he feels more like a stranger listening in on their conversation than their brother. any pop culture references go over his head as well and it drives him crazy. 

the only person who he feels is as out of the loop as him is klaus. and five takes a wild guess and assumes that’s from klaus’ past life as a drug junkie.

he seems weirdly quiet in their group hangouts, much quieter than he was all the times five has had to deal with him. often, he catches klaus opening his mouth and glancing over his shoulder, only to close it and turn back around. whenever that happens, he fiddles with the dog tags he wears around his neck and stares off into space.

occasionally he sees diego and vanya throw klaus some sympathetic looks when he does that, and five will feel even more lost, and a bit sulky that klaus has a support system and five doesn’t.

diego seems to have bonded with luther as well. it’s not perfect, obviously, but the last two weeks have made them mature into slightly more sensible adults. whenever they’re together and five is nearby, he’s subjected to listening to their non stop banter. and five will feel cranky about how he doesn’t have that type of sibling bond with one of his brothers afterwards.

five never sits on the couches with them during the group hangouts, always opting to lean on one of the pillars nearby instead and sip at his sixth or seventh cup of coffee of the day. 

he makes an effort to be friendly, of course. but it’s a battle between showing his siblings that he loves them and not wanting to embarrass himself by showing how much he loves them. five also has to try to not look like his kindness is completely out of left field, he’s received enough suspicious looks from his siblings to last a lifetime already.

he was chastising himself for making such a trivial question into such a big deal, and how he can’t seem to socialize with his siblings now that the world isn’t ending again as he made his morning patrols around the manor, when he bumped into klaus again.

when klaus noticed him, he straightened his posture and put a big smile on his face. 

“just the brother i was looking for! small world isn’t it?” he greets five. “i was going to go on a small snack run, wanna come, old man?” 

“i don’t have anything else better to do,” comes five’s immediate response. he wants to kick himself for not thinking his words through immediately after the worlds leave his mouth. this is his brother! he’s supposed to be nice to him-

klaus’ chuckle stops his train of thought and he motions five to follow him as he makes his way to the exit. they step out to the street and five squints against the sunlight, holding a hand up to his face to shield his eyes from the unwanted rays.

they make it to the store soon enough and klaus immediately abandons him to go to the back of the tiny convenience store, leaving five near the candy isle.

five skims all the variety of sweets, and struggles to remember with one he liked when he was a kid. five gives up trying to remember something from so long ago after a minute of critical thinking and simply grabs the cheapest chocolate bar.

he goes to try to find klaus, and feels his heart stop when he doesn’t find him near the back of the store. turning around with a frantic burst of energy, he searches the isles for him. when he finds klaus inspecting all the chips in aisle three, he lets out the breath he’d been holding. 

he teleports the short distance from where he’d been standing to where klaus is, and tries to see what klaus is so invested in. he finds that klaus is holding an unmistakable red bag with the iconic orange triangle on the front.

“you’re a dorito fan?” five asks, craning his neck to look klaus in the eyes.

“they used to be my stable breakfast when i woke up hungover. ben loved to get on my case about it.”

“loved?”

klaus sighs, “ben’s gone. probably living it up in heaven, he passed on when he stopped vanya from ending the world.”

five swallowed nervously, unsure of how to comfort his younger brother and how to take this new information. hadn’t klaus said that ben hadn’t traveled to the 60’s with them? “i’m sure he-“

“i don’t need condolences. he wouldn’t want the pity, it was a very ben way to die. we’ve all lost ben, it just took me a while to start the grieving process.” klaus put on a grin, “i’m just a late bloomer.” 

five knew he probably shouldn’t let that conversation die there, but klaus moved from the doritos onto the potato chip section and changed the topic to what fives favorite chip flavor was.

five remembered that he’d always had a good day when he managed to find bat because potato chips amongst the broken down convenience stores; so he settled on barbecue being his favorite flavor. klaus compliments him on his good taste and they set off to the cash register.

klaus set five’s candy, the chips, and a pack of beers on the counter. klaus returned the beers to the cooler with a huff when five refused to let him buy that many. five glared at him when he returned with a bottle of beer, but klaus was awfully stubborn about leaving the store without purchasing any alcohol.

klaus took out a hundred dollar bill to pay when he and five finally comprised. five asked about it, but klaus simply gave him a mischievous side eye while raising a finger to his lips. so he’s definitely still stealing from dad then. old habits die hard.

together they make their way back to the academy, with klaus talking about god knows what again and five’s thoughts turn back to the topic of bringing up that he wants to go shopping for clothes. he kicks all the stray litter on the sidewalk in frustration when he finds that he still can’t swallow his pride and just ask klaus.

they make it back to the manor and they find that all their siblings are hanging out in the living room. klaus saunters over time the bar and leaves their snacks on the counter top before sliding into allison’s and vanya’s conversation effortlessly and joining them on the couch. luther looks up from the checkers match he’s playing with diego and gives five a smile and a small wave, and diego mutters a greeting to his brothers in acknowledgement. 

five goes over to grab his candy bar from the bag on the counter. after, he goes to the pillar he likes leaning against most and starts to unwrap it. he hopes the sugar snaps him out of his weird mood, and bites into it as he tries not to eavesdrop into his sister’s conversation with klaus. 

the chocolate is good, and much sweeter than he remembers it being. it almost gives him a headache, but he finishes it anyway and shoves the wrapper in his pockets. 

right when five is starting to consider the pros and cons of teleporting out of his awkward situation now that he has nothing to do, luther sees him fidgeting and waves him over. five teleports over to his checkers match and watches as diego and luther do bad move after bad move. their terrible strategy floors him.

he doesn't help either of them and he slips back into his natural element of laughing at how stupid his siblings are. he watches as diego loses his king prince in an attempt to kill luthers prince king, and nearly breaks down into hysterics at how heartbroken luther is when diego takes luthers king prince two moves later. 

their checkers game lasts another ten minutes, and was cut short by diego ‘accidentally’ shaking the table so hard that all the pieces get mixed up. five expected luther to get angry and start to argue with diego, but instead of the angry luther he’s used to luther starts teasing diego and playfully calling him a sore loser.

diego and luther's loud back and forth alerts the rest of his siblings and after vanya and allison join in teasing diego for being a sore loser, vanya brings up the idea of a movie night. all his siblings agree so when all eyes turn to five for his opinion, he agrees by default. 

klaus stumbles over the couch to grab his chips and allison lunges for the remote control. 

“so what movie were we thinking?” allison asks, and five winces at all the loud movie suggestions that erupt out immediately afterwards. 

“action!” 

“a rom-com!”

“high school musical!”

“we could watch a disney movie.”

“oh! great idea, i’m with vanya,” allison agrees as she pulls up the disney movies.

diego groans, “we’ve watched all the disney movies already.”

“pixar then,” vanya suggests.

“we’ve watched all those too!” 

“oldest should choose,” argues luther, still clinging to the hope that he can watch an action movie.

“then i should choose, i spent more years in the 60’s and i’m older by ten months anyway from that time i time traveled!” klaus counters. 

allison shakes her head, “even if you time traveled, you’re the least mature here, you shouldn’t choose.”

“what do you mean?! diego literally just cheated so he wouldn’t lose to luther!” 

five decides to step in before luther's and diego’s argument starts again. he teleports over to allison side and grabs the remote before teleporting to the couch.

“actually, i’m the oldest,” he reminds them and everyone falls quiet, cursing themselves for forgetting that the oldest hargreeves sibling was the one stuck in the teenage body.

“then what movie do you want to watch, eldest brother,” klaus asks, half annoyed that he won’t be watching high school musical today. 

five bites his lip, and shoves his hands in his pockets. in the silence, you can hear klaus finally opening his bag of chips. the artificial barbecue smell snaps five to his senses.

“we could watch a disney movie, i suppose.” is what he offers up, and five almost rolls his eyes at himself at how that doesn’t settle the debate at all.

allison groans, “but which one,” she points to the tv screen, in which allison had pulled up all the disney movie their streaming service offers before five had taken away the controller. “that narrows it down to like, ten movies.” 

luther squints at the screen, “what happened to all the live action movies? i thought the lion king remake was pretty good, we could’ve watched that. i swear it used to be here before”

diego gasps in delight, “we must’ve gone to a timeline where they don’t exist!”

“maybe this timeline is the better one after all,” muses vanya; and klaus nods in agreement.

and five has no idea what they’re talking about, a feeling that he’s grown used to but upsets him nonetheless. he doesn’t ask about what the hell luther means by ‘lion king remake’ and focuses his attention on choosing a movie as his siblings bicker about something he can’t offer his input on.

he settles on ‘princess and the frog’. he was never the biggest fan of disney movies when he was a real kid, and is unfamiliar with all the new releases, but figured that he couldn’t go wrong on a movie based on a fairy tale he remembered grace reading to them when they’d had a bad day.

five puts it on, and vanya volunteers to fetch some blankets for everyone. when she comes back, they all arrange themselves to sit comfortably on the couch. klaus ends up in the middle, since he refused to let go of the chip bag, and his siblings decide to just put him in a place that they can reach. vanya claims the left corner and five ends up next to her. 

five tries to position himself so that he doesn’t touch her and doesn’t lean on diego, who ended up to his right. he end up making his posture rigid and folds his hands on his lap. 

but as the movie goes on, and five becomes more absorbed by it, he involuntary starts leaning in more towards vanya and reclining on the couch. when diego throws his arm over five’s shoulders, five recoiled away from the touch at first, but by the time they got to the second animated musical number, five’s shoulders lost their rigidity and he let himself melt into the affection. 

too soon, the movie was over, and five needed to know if the other disney releases while he was away were as good.

diego is the first one to talk once the credits play, “anybody up for a second movie?”

“but we’re all out of chips,” luther complains. allison swats him.

“then get more chips, you grump.” diego chides, and with a grunt luther gets up to go scavenge the kitchen for more snacks.

“how about a disney marathon?” vanya suggests. she looks over at five, “five probably hasn’t had time to watch them in the apocalypse, it’ll be good for him.”

“100%” klaus enthusiastically agrees. “maybe it’ll show him the power of friendship and kindness and he’ll stop being such a wet blanket.”

five bristles at the comment, “i’ll have you know that i have the controller and i have the power to teleport away and never give it back.”

vanya laughs and diego and allison follow suit, leaving five with a triumphant smirk and klaus with an indignant frown, before klaus joins the rest of his siblings and laughs along. 

luther emerges from the kitchen with pints of ice cream and spoons and finds everyone laughing. luther sits down and five puts on ‘tangled’. they fight over who gets what flavor while the movie loads and five ends up with strawberry. since vanya beat him at rock, paper, scissors for the coffee flavored ice cream.

five felt.. peaceful as the main character started singing a song about isolation and as his siblings all hummed along to the tune. strawberry ice cream wasn’t that bad, and soon enough the damsel in the movie had hit a man with a frying pan and he’d already eaten all of his ice cream. 

he set the empty pint on the floor and reclined more into his brother and sister. and thought about nothing else but about how rapunzel and that flynn guy were cute together, completely forgetting his dilemmas and letting his boundaries down as he positioned himself so that his legs were thrown over diego’s lap.

he apparently was way too peaceful because one moment he was watching the movie, and the other he was in a tangle of limbs and sporting a headache, and the morning sunlight was shining directly in his eyes. five felt a bit embarrassed that he’d fallen asleep, and hoped that he hadn’t been the first one to doze off.

even though he could have easily slipped out of vanya’s hold on him and moved diego’s head off his shoulder, five couldn’t bring himself to teleport away. he allowed himself to lean back into vanya and simply bask in the domestic bliss of it all.

his headache wasn’t bad enough to convince him to go to the kitchen, so he stayed with his siblings until one of the sparrow academy members came to tell them that grace made food for them.

grace had prepared eggs and toast that day, and five followed his drowsy siblings into the kitchen. they barely got to talk to to the sparrow academy, since they all filled out to the training grounds almost immediately after the umbrella academy took a seat at the table. grace passed out the toast and eggs and handed five his daily coffee pitcher with a smile.

five was pouring himself his fourth cup of coffee when finally mustered the courage to speak up.

“are you guys free today?” he asked his siblings.

five was elated when they all answered with some variation of a ‘yes’. 

diego was cutting up some avocado to put on his toast and looked up at five momentarily, “why? is there another apocalypse we all need to stop?”

five smiled nervously, “actually i was wondering if you guys would want to go to the mall with me.”

five was absolutely fucking delighted when they all agreed to come.


	3. in which five buys new clothes (finally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they go to the mall and five mostly hangs out with vanya and catches up while getting his new clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking to long to update. i swear i had to hold myself at gun point to motivate myself to finish this chapter. writing the beginning was just so slow and I Just Wasn’t Feeling It. 
> 
> also now i finally understand what writers mean when they say they have so many wips because holy dang those things accumulate as a rapid speed.

five busied himself by looking out the car window and enjoying the way the sun felt on his skin. he was torn on if his siblings' loud yelling and laughing was adding to the peacefulness he basked in, or if it was ruining it.

they had all climbed into one of reginald's cars. klaus had stolen the keys a week ago and with grace’s blessing they’d been allowed to use it. it didn’t matter that grace only really indulged them because she thought that they would have no way of actually driving the car, a blessing was a blessing and reginald would have no grounds to sue them on.

diego had been deemed the designated driver and five called shotgun. they sped along the highway as the radio blasted some songs that none of the siblings had heads before.

well ‘sped’ was an overstatement. diego was driving like an old man whose life could be ruined if he got a driving ticket. ol’ ‘good rule-abiding citizen’ diego was insistent on following every god forsaken rule to a t. he annoyingly kept checking that he was going exactly at the speed limit every couple seconds. 

they arrived at the mall after twenty minutes, and when they passed through the doors five tried to not look too disoriented by all the bright lights. 

“so,” allison started, and all eyes snapped to her, “where should we start?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. 

everyone turned to five and he tried not to shrink into himself instinctively. his posture became uptight and he slid into the usual authoritative position he’d grown accustomed to up keeping around his younger siblings.

“well- the things that bother me the most are these shoes. logically, i would like to discard them as soon as possible,” he responded stiffly. 

allison looked at him with a glint in her eye, the other siblings noticed and groans erupted.

“allison, please,” diego begged, “we don’t want to go to the absurdly expensive stores!”

“nonsense! we’ll find good shoes there, cmon five you’ll love it,” against his better judgement, five trailed after allison. he saw luther, diego, and klaus break from the group. vanya had decided to stay with them, and when allison saw that vanya was coming with them she smiled warmly at her. 

the sisters started to talk, and five checked out. were new shoes worth this? the icky feeling that settled in five’s stomach whenever he was left out returned. this felt like his own personal hell; he couldn’t bring himself to join the conversation and the bright lights were starting to give him a major headache. 

allison lead them to a store that somehow managed to have even brighter lights and five was rethinking his life. he squinted his eyes to the point that he didn’t see any of the clothing out on display. all he could make out was the small shoe section at the back of the store. 

allison was soon out of his sight line and was buzzing around the shoe boxes. he plopped himself down onto one of the seats that were sparingly provided. five rubbed his temples and reminded himself that this was his idea.

ugh remind him to never do this again. 

he felt something be set down beside him and opened his eyes to find vanya offering him a small smile. 

“so, what kind of shoes were you looking for?” she asked, gesturing to the scruffy academy shoes he had on. “ i can’t imagine those being comfortable.”

he sighed, “maybe some sneakers, black preferably. 

vanya noded and silence draped over them again. he saw her tap her knees with the pads of her fingers absentmindedly to a tune only she could hear. the more five looked at her fingers, the more apparent the callouses on the tips of her fingers became.

he wanted to ask vanya if she still played. five wanted to ask who her favorite composer was, and do geek out about classical music. he remembers back when he was actually thirteen and vanya’s violin playing would occasionally be heard in the academy. they’d bonded over their love for classical music then, but five doubted that they would just be able to slip back to the eat things used to be.

he doesn’t like that his siblings have become strangers to him now, but it’s the truth. five operates on facts and logic, and the upsetting fact of the matter is that his sister and best friend has grown up without him. 

the person sitting next to him had almost ended the world twice, and five still isn’t used to seeing his passive, reserved sister in that light. he’s used to the way that vanya’s brow furrows when she’s thinking, not the way it furrows in anger from time to time. he’s not used to the way she retaliates now, sharp and cunning and so eager to prove her power. 

allison’s sing song voice snapped him out of his thoughts, “so what do you guys think of these?” 

she opens some shoe boxes and inside them there’s some designer shoes. five doesn’t really care for any of them, but the pair of black boots allison found catch his attention. he asks to try them on, but they’re a bit too big for him. he blushes in embarrassment but insists that they buy them anyway. he’s sure he’ll grow into them, they’re the same size he used to be when he was forty.

five hands back the shoes and allison hauls them over to the clothing section. he scrunches his nose at the patterned shirts allison takes off the hangers, and very reluctantly tries them on.

he hates them, just like he told allison he would.

vanya laughs at the way five and allison give each other some sething looks, and any actual hostility five had deflated. allison and five compromise by getting five some dress pants and a plain black button down shirt. they pay and head off to find the others.

unsurprisingly, they find them at the food court. klaus is recording diego and luther having a wrestling match. five, allison, and vanya sit down at their table just as luther slams diego’s hand down. klaus puts his phone away and ogles at the shopping bag.

he leans forward and rests his chin on his hands, “you find anything cool for ol’ fivey?” 

vanya shrugs, “depends.” allison let’s out an offended squawk.

“ah classic allison. you can’t tell me you actually let five pick the clothes out himself, “ klaus tuts. “he literally chose to wear the academy uniform, his fashion sense is in shambles.”

“sorry i didn’t have time to read fashion magazines in the apocalypse, asshole,” five remarks. he didn’t think his style was that bad. its not as outrageous as what diego and klaus frequent, but five prefers to actually look his age, thank you very much. 

“i know a place you’d like,” diego joins. “klaus and i go there often. vanya likes it too.”

five looks to vanya for her to confirm it, and is surprised to see her enthusiastically nodding along. he lets himself be dragged off to another department store, and only complains twice. 

five didn’t know what he expected, but whatever he was looking at now wasn’t it. through the glass he’d been able to tell that this store was almost the complete opposite of the previous store. the inside was sparsely lit and had an overall grunge feeling.

diego and klaus lead him to a section that has shirts and pants in varying degrees of ugliness. but to five they are all atrocities. he feels his soul leave his body when diego hands him a shiny vinyl jacket and klaus hands him a mesh shirt and black crop top.

vanya only acts as an enabler when she hands five some ripped jeans with a smile. five almost refuses to try on the clothes. but with much coercion and puppy eyes five ends up in a changing room with his pride in shambles.

his siblings exploded into laughter when five emerged wearing a too big jacket layered on the crop top and mesh shirt, and the ripped jeans just finished look. vanya discreetly took a picture of five but he was too busy threatening diego and klaus fo notice. 

she tucked her phone away and beamed at him, “welcome to the club!” 

“what kind of shitty club requires this kind of enrollment,” five seethed. he was immediately smothered by klaus. 

“the emo club!” cheered vanya. she and diego shared a brief fist bump. five scrunched his nose in disgust. 

“i don’t want to be a member.”

“too bad little brother.” diego retorted, ruffling his hair.

the fact that five hasn’t teleported away yet or how he even agreed to put on the clothes must have been some early signs of insanity. but instead, his siblings took his agreeableness as a good sign. they knew that if he really didn’t want to do it, he’d tell them. 

five wouldn’t deny that he was uncomfortable in the wacky clothes, but he deemed being able to pretend to be annoyed and trade one liners with his siblings more important. he’d had to wear worse for some of his assignments anyway. 

when the laughter died down, vanya pikes up, “why don’t we get him some actual clothes now?” 

“these are actual clothes!” klaus complains, but they all usher five back to the changing rooms anyway. 

he hears klaus jabber on about how he’d wear that outfit. he’s almost finished putting on his jacket when he hears diego say“that’s probably the problem”. he holds back his laughter when he hears klaus’ indignant gasp that follows. 

he emerges after fixing his hair in the mirror and does actually laugh when he sees klaus struggling to hold diego in a headlock. they all know diego is allowing klaus to hold him in the headlock. while the brothers still roughhouse, vanya leads five over to the shirt section. 

they browse the shirts in silence. vanya occasionally hold a shirt up, and five would give his feedback. the system works and they end up with four shirts that five liked. they move onto the pants section and repeat the process.

it’s something that would’ve been comfortable a lifetime ago, but the silence is stifling and five finds himself tuning out. they end up with three good pairs of pants and they make their purchases. vanya uses allison’s card, which she had swiped from allison’s purse, to pay. 

by the time vanya and five are done, klaus and diego are nowhere to be seen. vanya let’s out a little chuckle when she notices, and five’s mind starts racing. should he take this time to catch up with his sister? how does one catch up with his sister? should he maybe buy her something from the food court? but he doesn’t even know what vanya likes, and he has no money-

“i think there’s a good cinnamon bun place nearby,” vanya’s comment snaps five out of his panic and he turns all his attention to her. she softly laughs a bit when she sees how distressed and panicked five looked.

she continued, “i think they have a marshmallow cinnamon bun, we could go there. diego texted me that the others are at the disney store, so we’re free to do whatever.” she punctuates her statement with a shrug.

“uh- yeah. that sounds great,” he stammers, and vanya smiles at him and they make their way back to the food court. the food court is nearly empty, and five is relieved to find a quiet spot. 

apparently, vanya had remembered wrong and there was no marshmallow cinnamon bun. she was very flustered when they found out, and apologized to five. he shrugged it off and decided to get a cinnamon bun with strawberries. vanya just got a plain. 

they went back to the quiet spot five found and started to eat. 

“so,” five said between bites. “how has your training being going so far?”

“training? oh- that. it’s been going well…” she lowered her cinnamon bun away from her mouth. “i can’t say that i won’t end the world again.. but i can say that i won’t do it on purpose. i’ve been thinking about going to therapy, actually.”

five tilted his head to the side, “for what?”

vanya laughs again, and five realizes that he just asked a stupid question. “well i’m hoping that it’ll help me keep my emotions under control, since i almost ended the world twice because i lost control; and y’know.. i don’t want that to happen again.” 

“that makes two of us.”

vanya gives him a tight lipped smile. she then slumps into her seat and her brow furrows in frustration. after a few moments of silence, five opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong but before he can get the words out vanya picks up where she left off.

“and of course, it scares me sometimes,” she looks at the cinnamon bun she left discarded on the table and she picks it up again and bites it.

five sighs, “yeah- dad really messed you up. well, uh, i couldn’t imagine what it would feel like if the world ended or not based on my emotional stability. but, none of those times were only your fault.”

vanya looks up at him, and five swallows before he continues. his face begun heating up when he realized what big a sap he was being.

“i mean- the first time was mostly dads fault. and our fault too of course. we used to be real assholes, well not me really because i was gone, but i probably would have been a real asshole too. luther undeniably really pushes you over the edge when he locked you in that cage.”

the cloudy look her eyes had was going away, so he continued.

“and from what i understand, you were being tortured when you lost control last time. who can blame you for getting upset when getting tortured?” 

vanya laughs, and her eyes crinkle as she does so.

“we’re all messed up, vanya. any of us would have done the same thing if we were in your shoes. and by saying you want to go to therapy you’re really proving that you’re mature than all of us, really. talking about your feelings? that’s the number one hargreeves fear.

“i’d say the world ending is a close second.”

“i imagine everyone in the world is scared of the world ending.” 

she rolls her eyes at him. five has one of his hands resting on the table and she reaches across and grabs it. she gives it a slight squeeze and she can feel five freeze up at the touch. not wanting to make five more uncomfortable than he already is, she can’t imagine how hard it was for him to say that, she lets go.

“thanks,” she beams, and five mutters a ‘no problem’.

they slip back into talking like how they used to when they were kids, and when five finally finishes his cinnamon bun they stand to go throw their wrappers away. 

right before they reach their destination, five bumps into someone. the stranger loses control of their balance, and five’s shirt ends up stained with ketchup. the strangers lunch would have ended up on the floor if it weren’t for vanya’s quick jump to action.

the stranger apologized, and five glared them down the whole time. 

“jeez, vanya comments when the stranger scrambled away, “that looks like a hell of a stain. good thing we just bought you new clothes.

“i’ll be right back,” five says, already turning on his heel and heading to the restroom. “i’ll try to get the worst of it out.” 

“okay, i’ll be waiting!” 

five angrily tosses the door open and shrugs off his blazer. he makes his way do the mirror and starts to grab paper towels to wipe the ketchup off. he looks up at the mirror to get an idea of where to start. 

the sight of blood red on his white dress shirt slaps him in the face. 

the guilt he’d been harboring since their encounter with lila at the farm bubbled up. he stared at his reflection, his old face made him look so innocent. but he’s not.

he was so confused when lila started claimed he killed his parents. at fist he almost wanted to deny it, but he hasn’t kept track of all the people he’s killed. he very well could have murdered lila’s parents in front of her. when he finally remembered that yes he did actually kill a random couple at the order of the handler in front of their kid that one time he’d felt the weight of his actions finally settle on him.

it eventually became monotonous for him, the assassinations. he was good at it, which was why some sick part of him had grown to love it. now, thinking about the way he would parade around the numbers of victims he’d had, he wants to throw up.

why should he be here, when all the scores of people he’s killed aren’t here anymore. it was so easy to sink a blade into flesh when he just didn’t think about it. he’d perfected the art of not making his assignments termination personal. five is glad that at least, whenever he looked into the empty eyes of someone he’d murdered, he never felt joy.

he takes a shaky breath and moves to grab a napkin. he soaks it and hesitated before his reflection. he rubs away the worst of it wondering if he even deserved to be there. 

is saving the world twice enough to wash away all the murders he committed? do all the lives he saved during those two weeks outweigh all the lives he’s taken away? 

five throws the filthy napkins away and soaks another one, then continued to rub out the ketchup. when he looks up at the reflection again the ugly red mark is gone, instead it’s been replaced by an ugly coral stain.

five tugs his blazer back on and leaves the bathroom. 

he finds vanya soon enough and she grimaces at the pink splotch on his white shirt. 

“here, why don’t you just put on one of the shirts we just bought,” she offers, pulling out a plan black t-shirt from the shopping bag she’d been carrying.

“i just change here? right in the middle of the mall,” five asked, grabbing the shirt.

“i mean- yeah? you’re a prepubescent little boy,” she stared at him blankly, “it’s socially acceptable for you to take off your shirt.” five takes off his blazer once more and pulls his white shirt over his head. 

he slipped the academy uniform into the bag, five muttered as he put on the t-shirt, “i’m not a little boy.”

vanya raised an eyebrow at him, “you can be a big boy if you want.”

“i am an old man.”

vanya laughed at the annoyed yet resigned expression, “you’re just baby.” 

“but babies don’t kill people.” five didn’t mean for it to slip out, and goes to explain his little outburst.

vanya speaks up before him, “yeah. but kids also don’t typically spend their mornings training and their afternoons fighting for their lives while trying to stop criminals.” 

“but it’s… different. i murdered innocent people as an adult.” he turns to look at vanya. “while i worked for the commision after the apocalypse.”

vanya looked back at him blankly, and five quickly jumped in to defend himself.

“i-i mean i was an assassin for a while. it was my job.”

“it was pretty shit of you to take that job.”

five exhales, “...yeah. but it was my only option.”

“did you ever enjoy it?”

“god, of course not.”

vanya turns away from him, and tries to collect her thoughts.

she ends up shaking her head, “then why’d you do it?”

“to survive, it was the only way to get out of the apocalypse. and, it was the only way i had a chance of coming back to save you guys.”

vanya hums. and five feels shame prickle all over his skin. he feels so dirty. his hands feel uncomfortably warm and he shoved them in his pockets.

“well.. i guess you had good intentions, then,” vanya purses her lips. “i mean- i can’t judge. i have a bigger kill count than you.”

“but you’ve never choked anyone out with your bare hands, or-or shot someone in the back of the head, or even stabbed someone, vanya!” five retaliates. he said that way foo loud, but when both siblings look to see if anyone was looking at them, they saw no one. 

vanya sighs, “but i’ve blown up the moon and destroyed all life on earth.” 

“we fixed that-“

“no we didn’t. there’s still five’s out there wandering through a barren wasteland that i created, timelines where the world did end and all those people ended up dead by my hands- or powers or whatever.”

vanya turns to him again, and her eyes bore into five’s skull, “you’re the time guy, this is your area of expertise.” 

“guess were both murderers then,” five hangs his head, “do we even deserve this happy ending then? how come we get to live and all those thousands of people don’t, huh?”

“i don't know, five. see, tell you what; why don’t we both go to therapy together?” she playfully punches his arm and sing-songs, “we can both talk about our immeasurable amounts of guilt together~”

five takes his hands out of his pockets and crossss them over his chest, “i guess it’s a start.”

they slide back to a normal topic, and continue building on it until they get to the disney store. allison waves when she sees them and cooes at how five looks in his new shirt.

his brothers notice him and they light up as they walk over.

diego pats his shoulder, “looking nifty, bud”

klaus pokes his cheek, “look at our handsome little five! so much more stylish.”

“you look much better,” luther agrees.

five isn’t sure how to respond to the attention and complements so he just stays silent and nods. allison hands him the boots they’d bought earlier and begs him to try them on. his siblings cheer as he takes off the academy shoes and steps into the too-big boots.

diego chucks the academy shoes into the nearest garbage bin and klaus whoops when it makes it in. luther shakes his head, but he does applaud slowly as well.

“all we have left to do is burn those schoolboy shirts,” klaus celebrates. “also is anyone else hungry?”

vanya and five exchange looks as the rest of their siblings agree. 

vanya shrugs, “i could eat.”

attentions on five, he shrugs too, “i have coupons for a pizza place on me.”

the siblings excitedly make their way to their stolen car, and disco enters the address from the coupon into the gps.

the pizza place is surprisingly good, five isn’t sure if it’s because he’s sharing the meal wish his siblings or if all pizzas just taste better when you have $5 off your order. they’d settled on half cheese and half hawaiian. klaus and luther were loud advocates for the hawaiian, and how can you go wrong with some cheese pizza? 

five ordered himself an iced coffee as well. he anticipated that they'd be resuming their disney marathon, and he wanted to be able to watch more than just two that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) ty for reading!
> 
> hopefully i upload more fics soon.


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